cryptic title

here's something you should really try to do at least once: go to a best buy or a music store, someplace with a pretty decent selection of instruments. then fuck around with the vocoder. it's endlessly amusing.

there's no vocoder in this song, but it's still pretty great

i saw cut copy play the glass house earlier this month, and while i did have a good time, later i became more pensive as i thought about how almost everyone else in the audience was younger than me (at least that's how it seemed). i don't know, it feels like my "heyday" has already passed. and not even in an especially visible way. that is to say, there wasn't any particularly momentous event demarcating pre- and post-heyday times. i can't point to any specific day and say, "this is when everything started to seem a bit less vivid."

i just bought one of this guy's shirts

i think i have insomnia, and i'm debating whether or not to consult a doctor, or maybe even finally go for a green card. it's weird, i tend to wake up at least three or four times a night. i'd like to get this resolved, but it would require money and effort, two things of which i'm incredibly bereft.

here's something semi-positive: i kind of started reading again. a month or two ago, i noticed this recurring thing where i would start a book, read three or four chapters in and just give up. it happened with the great gatsby, slaughterhouse five, a couple of library books... which is weird, because i used to be really into reading, to the point where i'd neglect other, more important things.

so i finally went to the borders a quarter-mile from my place and i bought a terrible sci-fi book and a terrible fantasy book. i'm hoping that by reading these in their entirety i can get back into the habit of reading.



so i'm apartment sitting my dad's place, getting drunk in the middle of the day (As is my wont), forced to listen to whatever music i can find fan videos for on youtube (not a satisfactory situation) and i find my self wondering how anyone makes it to age... let's say 50 or so. i mean on an objective level, life is terrible once you're over let's say 35 or so. you face the ongoing decline of your skills and abilities, vim and vigor. you look super weird, even weirder than you did at 25-30. all those people who say "hey check it out! i'm 40 years young! what up!!!" are pretty much liars.

i feel that the best solution to this is to just commit to jumping off a bridge or something once you reach 35. there's really no place to go but down. the one reason you would want to remain alive past that age is in case someone creates effective immortality, cell regeneration or something along those lines. but let's be real, eh? the chances of this happening aren't especially strong. so why commit to 40+ years of misery for the chance of suckling off the teat of society for an unknown period of time? no thanks, says i. i'd rather go out with a bang, so to speak.

i don't want to give the impression that i'm gonna unabomber all y'all. but i think it's important to be realistic about what one seeks to accomplish in life. and i don't see the reduction of one's abilities to the point that reliance on a bunch of other people for basic sustenance is necessary as romantic or even especially interesting.

this may be too many good songs for one post. but the anoraak one is definitely better. MORE ON THIS TOPIC LATER